Bad Copy and Bad Coffee
”Every contact with your customer is an opportunity to win or lose,” the Office Center* website reads. Based on the time this full-service shared office suite put into their collateral, they aren’t going to win too many.
A few simple pointers for businesses who are concerned about first impressions: Web, wall-art and otherwise.
1.— Website Design
Owner Angle:
Why should I pay $2,000 or $10,000 on a website when I can use a template from an online site and pay $79? My business doesn’t live or die on the web and I am not selling anything. It’s just a big digital business card.
Customer Angle:
A templated website tells customers your business isn’t any different from your competitors. The people who are most likely to research your company are already on the web and (see blog entry) and can spot a template from a million miles away. Sal’s Pizzeria in Brooklyn can’t keep a slice on the pizza tray despite having a take it or leave it attitude. An office building with a 50% vacancy rate probably can’t pull that off.
Take Away:
Don’ t use a template for your website—anyone with a modicum of taste can tell it is a template.
2a.— Bad Taste
Owner Angle:
Art in the lobby gives a sense of professionalism. But real art in the lobby is an investment I’m not willing to make.
Customer Angle:
Fair enough. Certainly, customers don’t expect Picassos to be hanging in the foyer, but there are corporate art firms for a reason. They know what colors, shapes and images work best in corporate settings—and that ten pieces of mismatched “art” on a single wall don’t add up to a peaceful work environment. They also know that chains hanging from the drop ceiling aren’t the best way to hang said “art.”
Take Away:
Hire a professional to select your art. Even those of us who have great taste realize our tastes aren’t everyone else’s taste. And remember that a blank wall has its place, too.
2b. — Bad Artists
Owner Angle:
An on-staff artist could generate some cache. Perhaps we cut him a break on rent, and he cuts us a deal on corporate art.
Customer Angle:
If I don’t smell fresh paint at the foot of the “artist’s” door, something’s fishy; and if I do smell paint when you are showing me a space across the hall, please don’t position it to me as a bonus that I am going to be close to the in-house talent.
Take Away:
Don’t hire an “on-staff artist” for your office building unless you have the cash to hire someone with a brand name or an amazing body of work.
2c. — Bad Art
Owner Angle:
Hey, I’m never here. Who cares what’s on the walls?
Customer Angle:
Good corporate art shouldn’t stand out. It should blend in and do all it can to not feel like a local group art show.
Take Away:
Don’t hire an artist whose art consists of digital prints on canvas with gesso smeared on them to look like brush strokes. This would be like piping Muzak through your office and saying that you had a composer hidden in a broom closet. Don’t do that, either.
3. — Content
Owner Angle:
Somebody internal can write all the copy. How hard could it be? Everyone has Word and spell-check on their computers. It’s just a brochure and some web copy.
Customer Angle:
The reason I am interested in your service is the appearance of professionalism. Why would I want you to answer the phone for me if your collateral is misleading, sloppy and downright incorrect?
Take Away:
Remove exclamation points from your toolset. Spend more time crafting your sentences and less time thinking that five of these!!!!! is going to hammer home your point. While you’re at it, don’ t use semi-colons. Try an em-dash instead. Finally, Don’t Capitalize words for no Reason just to make an Emphasis. OK? Professionalism has no boundaries and you never know what is going to turn off a potential customer. “Save thousands for a better purpose!” HUH?
4. — Construction
Owner Angle:
Business is business and the rent has to get paid.
Customer Angle:
Why would I want to move next door to a space that is going to have major renovation take place? The whole point for moving into your office suite is to enjoy a professional environment and not worry about interruptions during conference calls. A Sawzall buzzing away next door for three weeks kind of defeats the purpose.
Take Away:
Either offer your prospective tenants a break on rent through the construction phase or don’t rent the spaces out until the construction is complete.
5. — Blog to Nowhere
Owner Angle:
I have no idea what a blog is supposed to be used for, but can we put an advertisement on it?
Customer Angle:
When a customer visits a blog that is all marketing speak and sales pitch, they will most likely close the window and never visit again. A blog is for the customer to learn about you and your expertise or experience in the industry. If all you are going to give the customer is bluster, you may as well put pop-up ads on your site. “You’re the 1 millionth visitor – Click Here>” and revert to phishing scams.
Take Away:
New tools like blogs need to be implemented with a strategy. Simply tossing a blog button on your website doesn’t mean you have a blog. Also, blogs are not for hyping your services and acting as a storage space for your most recent ads.
6 — Overall Message
Owner Angle:
Rent out the units for as much money as I can. That’s my strategy, message and goal.
Customer Angle:
The concept of a Office Center sounds great. Flexible terms, professional services and a low cost. The overall voice of the Office Center, from website, to email, to in-person was abysmal. If you are going to deliver an all-in-one sales pitch, don’t tell customers that the lobbies, bathrooms and hallways are available to them at no additional cost. That’s your sales pitch? That’s what differentiates you from your competitors—free hallways?
The all-in-one aspect of the Office Center feels like a nickel and dime outfit. The furniture that was advertised as included in the rent turned out to be an extra $140 a month, while faxes and printed pages were charged by the page. Internet access was an extra + $90, and the list went on and on. They were, however, going to give me a free email account, a perk that was printed bold red to let me know how important it was.
Take Away:
You are your message: In print, online and in-person.
Your customer transmits and repeats your message: In print, online and in-person, over and over and over.
Here’s an example of how to do the virtual office setup correctly: New York’s community workplace—In Good Company
*Office Center is not the real name of this company.
